I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
This is the high leading the old right now
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize