Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
