I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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