This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
