How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
