discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
we're so committed to being not committed
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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