You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just invented taco cereal.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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