just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
