Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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