I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Your dad touched me again.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
