Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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