you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
