Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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