he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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