Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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