I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
