I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
