If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
