I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
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But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize