Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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