I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
