Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Randomize
