what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
