sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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