You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
