it was like his penis was on wheels.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
