quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize