I cockslap morals
it was like eating out sand paper
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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