Yo dont text me then not text me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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