did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
