the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
