If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
