i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
