Me too!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
