I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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