I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
