My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
