I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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