I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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