The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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