She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she told me i tasted like america
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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