is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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