I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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