i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize