Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize