I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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