So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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