So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
