some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
