Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
