I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
my sisters under your porch take her home
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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