okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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