Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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