Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
