Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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