party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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