I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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