i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
