First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
