Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
