just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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