It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
